Decided that I needed to go Whale Watching, trying to practice living in the moment! We headed to Cape Cod for the night. Incredible dinner of boullibase and steamers. The boullibase was the best I've ever had. We went on the 9am trip out of Hiannis. What a wonderful whale watching trip we had! Lots of Finbacks and Humpbacks! One Minke and 3 white sided Dolphins. We watched the Humpbacks fin wave, tail slap and multiple breachings over and over again. Beautiful weather. So nice to be out on the water. After the trip we had another delicious meal. I had more steamers and a huge lobsta salad! YUM! With a happy heart and a renewed soul we headed home.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
I find that constantly looking at nature helps me to center myself and keeps me living in the moment. It's helping keep the negative thoughts out of my head. There is always something to see. Today while getting gas I watched an immature Bald Eagle circling over my car. A wonderful unexpected sighting. Nature makes me smile every day.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
I've decided to take back my life from the cancer diagnosis. Nearly a year ago I was misdiagnosed for 4 months. With recent tests we now know that I already had stage 4BC on the day of my diagnosis. I've spent the last 7 months obsessed with all things cancer. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of people telling me who I should see, what I should eat, what I should take for a cure, how I should live, even how I should feel, etc. I'm tired of talking about cancer. I'm tired of being scared every waking moment.
I've lived a very healthy lifestyle for my entire adult life and yet I have cancer. Nothing I could have done differently would have changed this fact. I'm no longer going to question the whys. The only way this could have turned out differently for me, is if the original radiologist had made a correct diagnosis with the two sonograms that were done a year ago, that showed textbook Classic stage 1 BC. He did NOT. There is now a very a good chance that his poor skills and his total lack of caring, will cut my life short by decades. But that being said... I'm not going to quit! I am strong and healthy and I will continue in treatment, eat healthy, exercise and look into any trials that are out there for my type of cancer. In fact, my plan is to live every last moment I'm here on this beautiful planet. I LOVE LIFE. I LOVE FUN.
The only way I can fully be in the moment again is to stop dwelling in cancer. I need to stop talking about it every waking moment. Its gotten so bad, it's now in my dreams. The fact is; not one of us is getting out of here alive. Not one of us knows when our number is going to come up, as my beloved dad told me many times, in fact it was our last conversation before he died suddenly! I have been given a warning that my number is most likely coming sooner then later, and knowing that fact, makes me really want to LIVE AND ENJOY everyday as if it is my last. Today I've made a decision with my hubby and my mom, that cancer talk with others is off limits from now on, as they are both tired of the same thing I am exhausted from. They are both hurting as much as I am. Being sucked into cancer talk by well meaning friends and family is draining all of us. It keeps us from living today in joy and happiness.
Today I decided to spend everyday from here on in, like my past 10 year old self, living for today and enjoying it all! My hubby, My sons, food, experiences, nature, birds, reptiles, wild animals, my dog, my family, friends, starlight, sunrises, sunsets, storms, rainbows, just everything! I did a creek walk with my pup and I caught frogs, I watched the fish, insects, clouds, listened to the water, felt the breeze on my face and the water on my body, I absorbed every last moment, it was blissful. Tomorrow I'm headed to the Cape with my hubby to go whale watching, something I love so much. I also booked a cottage on Schroon Lake for 10 days and another in Maine for a week. We planned another weekend with my son and DIL up to a cabin. We are going to a Ranger preseason game too! Life is now, I need to live it! Worrying about how long I have and how I might die is wasting what precious time I do have. The Universe has my back. My only job right now is to: JUST BE. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE.
|My personal playground|
Monday, August 22, 2016
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Monarch butterflies are once again migrating. They let me know......there is always hope. I've watched their population crash and recover many times. I found out today, there is nothing that calms and centers me more then Nature. I had a magical walk on our gorgeous Turtle Point Road and I spent some time in our yard watching all the goings on. It was good to get outside.