Today while out on my morning hike with Monty I came to the realization that most of the time I have way tooooo much going on in my head. I'm constantly inundated with thoughts and constant planing. I need to somehow get to the point of my life where I just start living each day and enjoying where I am at that moment, no matter where or what I'm doing. I've looked at so many parts of my life as chores...how dumb is it to look at food shopping as a pita? I guess because I have so many limits as to what I can or will allow myself to eat, it has taken all the joy out of food for me.. I wonder how it would feel to go to the store and really think about what I want to eat? I'm heading out shopping today and plan on doing just that. I'm going to carefully pick each item and enjoy the fact that I am so privileged that I get to eat 3 meals a day. How many people on this earth have that luxury? I am truly deeply blessed.
As for everything else....no more bucket list. I'm going to spend the next few months just living for today, as if it is my last day here on earth. I will do what I can with each day and not beat myself up for what I don't do or get done. This is my life and I'm letting it get away from me.
My childhood friend has cancer. I have not seen her in a very long time. A few years ago we reconnected on FB. Today she posted a picture of herself with no hair. She has a huge smile on her face, and looks content, not even a tiny hint of fear. She looks beautiful. I think she gets it. She and I shared a deep love for animals which we both continue to this day. We were best friends until we were about ten. Our entire block was boys except we each had a sister. What fun we had.