It's been an incredibly tough couple of months, both physically and mentally. There is no way you can know how bad a cancer diagnosis will feel, until you experience it. I've been there with my hubby and other loved ones and good friends, but I had no idea how hard this is to live with day in and day out I think the mental part of dealing with a life threatening illness is far harder then being sick from the treatments. It keeps you up many nights worrying. I'm still trying to find my way though all of this. One foot in front of the other, one treatment at a time. One thing that I've found, is that learning to live in the moment seems to be the best way to avoid living in so much mental pain. Filling each day up to the brim doing things you adore, eating foods you love and seeing people who make you feel good makes all the difference in the world. Even if you don't feel all that good, living while you are undergoing treatment is so important. Do what you love everyday. I'm lucky that I have so much support and love, to help me get though each and every day, but in the end, it is up to me to find my way and to make myself happy again. I'm a work in progress. My hubby is away on his annual motocross trip to GA, one which I made him go this year, he needs to live now too. He is the one who holds me up every single day. He is my shoulder to cry on and I want him to stay healthy though all this stress. I plan on starting my Naturalist Class tomorrow morning! YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT......TOMORROW! I am going to be a kid again on Summer vacation, spending every waking moment enjoying life and nature!
Today, I took the boy up to the land. We then did a bird drive. I sat at the edge of a wetland and listened to Peepers, toads and also a Gray Tree frog! I crossed a handsome little Painted Male and ran into a birding friend! He was so happy to see me out and birding! Yup....I need to do that every single day!