Monday, September 12, 2016

Schroon Lake

I am up at Schroon Lake.  Hubby was here with me since Friday.  He headed home to work a few days and will rejoin me on Thursday along with our son Derek.  On Friday our son Brad and his GF Ashley will come up as well.  I felt the need to spend a few days alone, I've never done this before.  I want to see if there is anyway to quiet the voices in my head. I'm still struggling with trying to make peace with my health situation and find a way to enjoy my life as it is. I don't want to spend time being depressed, it's hard enough feeling like crap physically most of the time.  Nothing speaks to me and calms me like nature....pure nature. Time outside with no human distractions.   Hubby and I did 3 short hikes, and honestly today I feel more at peace then I have in a long time. The trails here are beautiful and we went to several gorgeous little ponds.  I'm laying here in a screen porch listening to the waves lap, insects singing, birds feeding in the tree tops and loons calling, I feel peaceful and centered.  How can I take this feeling back home with me? I have a few days to figure it out.  I just read my favorite book of all times, written by my hero Rachael Carson.  A Sense of Wonder.  Ive read that book once or twice a year since 1994 when Bobby gave me an original copy of it.  I see the world as Rachael did, those of us who love nature are never bored or entertained by superficial objects.  She died young, at only 56 from Breast Cancer, not before she finished her most important work, Silent Spring. She never talked about her cancer as she wanted her scientific work informing people of the dangers of pesticides to be taken seriously.  She was a selfless, strong women whom I idolize.  I deeply love life, I love my hubby, my sons, friends, and family.  I've never taken any of it for granted and I've lived fully. I've always felt that the beauty of our planet is heaven, that being out in nature is my church.  I just want more time here..... 

"The Peace of Wild Things"
When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things 

who do not tax their lives with forethought
 of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light.
For a time 
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
-Wendell Berry

Notable birds: Loons, lots of warblers, Common Mergs, Black Ducks, Kingfishers, BW Hawk, Fish Crows, Willow Flycatcher, and two Bald Eagles flying over the car on the way up.  

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