Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Amazing weather today for the very last day of January. I stopped by the swamp by the railroad tracks on Lower Wisner Road, there are a pair of Red-Tails on the nest. 3 pairs of Pin-tail ducks, a king fisher and lots of mallards. I'm heading out for a nice hike with the dogs.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Foster girl

I've been fostering a sweet 3 year old dobergirl for the last 11 days. A friend who is very involved with a rescue out of PA asked me if we could take her until she finds her forever home. Having her to take care of hasn't left any time for doing any writing or much nature time. I have been taking her out and hiking most days, but she must be on the leash as she has a really high prey drive. She has settled into our family really well and Monty is enjoying having a friend to play with. I do know after the last week and a half that at this point in life I only want to have one dog, unless I'm fostering, which we will do again. Once my wildlife rehabbing picks up again in the spring it will be too much for me to have a high prey dog in the house while there are so many babies to care for. I hope she gets a good home, as we are already so attached to her, she is a very cute smart girl. I don't understand how so many have given up on her.

This has been a very warm Winter, we have had snow one time since that crazy storm in October. There has been a lot of rain. Not to many birds at the feeders. Two weeks from today I will be in Florida, I'm looking forward to birding there.

Friday, January 13, 2012

A fit women is a powerful women!

My Gym and Training Partner Monty!

Early this morning as I was out in the park in a show squall, I thought to myself, I almost feel guilty being able to be out here in nature getting a good fast hike/run in, while others are on their machines doing their time. I can't imagine ever going to a gym, no wonder so many people hate to work out. For me getting outside there are so many opportunities to see so much more then the 4 walls of a gym and a bunch of people you don't know. Nature has gifts just waiting for your eyes to see them. Just the change of the weather is stimulating, and also changes the intensity of your hike/walk or run. This morning the ground was soft and slippery again after a day of rain, that alone helps build leg muscles. Two days ago it was frozen. Mother nature provides so much entertainment as you do your miles, there is never a dull time out there with nothing to see, the clouds alone today took my breath away. I'm so happy that I have discovered for myself how to have a lasting commitment to a lifetime of fitness. It's hiking for me and I'm blessed.

I also did some thinking this morning about my Petey. He has been gone 5 months tomorrow. I had a dream about him the other night where I really felt like he was with me. In the dream he had died suddenly, just like in real life, but some how he came back alive, but he wasn't well. He couldn't walk far with out falling over. He was leaning on me. He wasn't in pain or suffering, and it was such a amazing feeling to be holding his big brown body again, to have him lick my tears. He was very happy to see me. But his condition wasn't good, my big strong man was no longer the dog he was meant to be. It was as if in this dream Petey gave me a message and let me know that when he died it was his time. That no matter what I did medically, the outcome would not have been good for HIM. CHF would have been tragic for him. He went out of this life when and how he was suppose too. He didn't want to become any less of himself. That is how I now think about my dads sudden death too. For me my dad never got old. He went out before losing his manhood, which was everything to him. I know now that Petey did the same thing. They both were such proud dominate beings, that their lives had to end that way for them to keep their dignity.It's hard on us, but easy on them. Their deaths weren't about me, they were about them, and what was best for THEM. Petey and my dad didn't suffer at the end of their lives. They lived fully and gave all that they had to us. It was their time to go. We all will have a time to go, we don't get to choose it, those of us left behind have to learn how to deal and move on. That is what my dad and Petey would want for me. I had trouble figuring this out for the last 7 years since dads passing. I got it!

Yesterday would have been Petey's 5 year gotcha day. I am still trying to make sense of why he came to me, as nothing is an accident in this life. I think Petey came to protect me,to take over for my dad, because I was weak after so many deaths and so much hurt. He took his job very seriously from minute one, he made me feel safe and secure, he took away my fear of living. He left when he knew I was going to be ok, that I'm going to be able to get back in this game of life and become the strong women I was before my dad passed away. I let myself go after his death. I gained weight and lost my fitness level. I ate out of grief, and caused myself more pain, as for years I've suffered the symptoms of eating foods that I can't tolerate. A horrible self defeating punishment instead of facing the pain of life. I'm done with all that,I'm facing life. I now have a dog who needs me to show him that a I'm confident leader. Monty came to me so I can pull myself back up again and BE ALL THAT I CAN BE. I'm two weeks into not using food to console myself, and I feel incredibly fabulous. NO grain, dairy or sugar. I have also cut my alcohol down too! I've set myself up for some future goals, I want to backpack again. I know that this would be a dream come true for both hubby and myself to spend long weekends out in nature. I am so looking forward to getting myself fit enough to get back to my life out in nature! One day at a time....just get out there and DO IT! Put those shoes on and show up!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Monty 22 monhts old

“If you care about something you have to protect it – If you’re lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” ~ John Irving

Today is Monty's 22nd month old birthday. I decided that the best way to celebrate was to take a long hike with him. It was over cast and in the high 30s, no wind and very comfortable weather to hike. Not too many birds around, mostly junos, chickadee and I heard a Pileated woodpecker calling.

It was good to have so much quality time to think. I've had so much company since the week before Thanksgiving that there has been little time for long hikes. I can't remember the last time I hiked for 2.5 hours. I decided during my hike that I need more quiet in my life. I am back to turning the TV during the day when I'm home and despite watching nature shows, they are depressing me. All of them talk about how bad things are on this planet, how everything is on the verge of extinction. A decade ago I gave up reading the news paper and watching the news, because I was internalizing all the pain and hurt that people were going through. Now the same thing is happening to me with animals and nature, I feel so hopeless thinking about what is going on, and how bad things really are. My heart is too big, I feel pain too deeply. I can only do what I CAN DO. I can't save the world, but I can write letters to the editor, donate to organizations that I believe in, walk my talk and continue to help my local wildlife in need with my Rehab work. Tonight I took in a sharp-shinned hawk, he had a collision with a car, hopefully he makes it though the night. He is resting comfortably in a dog crate, in our back bedroom.

I came to the conclusion that my bucket list for the year is a bit overwhelming. It has my head spinning. I am not going to pursue the Master Naturalist right now, nor do a volunteer project this Winter. I realize now that I need to tackle one thing at a time, right now it's going to be my eating and fitness. Until I get that under control nothing else is going to be easy for me. The first 10 days of this year have been effortless. I feel great, not hungry and not craving. Next I will work on Simplifying again, it's time to purge the mess and stop buying anything new except food, vitamins and personal beauty items. I have a closet full of clothing that I can't wear because of the excess weight. I could have a whole new wardrobe in another month if I keep eating right. It feels good to let go of everything else until I'm good and ready to tackle it. One day at a time, eat right, exercise and sleep good.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Wolf Moon

Our mild Winter continues. I've been really enjoying getting out every day since the New Year has begun. Tonight is the Full Wolf Moon. On the drive home from our dusk hike around the fields the moon was coming up in front of the road as we drove, it looked so huge and amazing. Took my breath away. I wish that I could have taken a picture of it, I would have had to stop traffic to get a shot. I did get this picture at 8:50pm in our backyard.

There have been very few feeder birds, I'm saving a ton on birdseed. I think the milder weather has them foraging out in the wild and not having to depend on the seed. Some days there have even been insects out. Lots of squirrels though!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Getting out there

Hubby and I are committed to getting back in shape this year. We have been out there hiking the last 3 days. He is kicking my butt making me hike hills at a fast pace. I feel really good today. Began weights and stretching too. I will be working out in some way every day. Eating healthy too.

Sunday, January 1, 2012


Wonderful New Years celebration with our best friends and youngest son. All my boys called at midnight, I feel so blessed. I am the luckiest mom in the world to have the most wonderful sons in the world. We had our annual Fondue party. Cheese Fondue with bread and crudites for appetizers, Seafood Fondue for Dinner with Lobster tails, shrimp, clams, scallops and squid and then Chocolate Fondue with fruit and pound cake for dessert. I burned my candles until they all went out on their own. I also burned a bayberry wax candle to remember my daddy. He always bought one at Christmas time, I continue that tradition.

Today I watched *I AM* a documentary made by Tom Shadyac who directed the Nutty Professor and many other great funny movies. I think this is a must see by every human in the universe! Today is the perfect day for all of us to reflect on the past and start the NEW YEAR with great intentions to change. I want to watch this film a second time. What a powerful uplifting message this movie has given me. I feel empowered. I AM.