Bliss

Rainbow

Find the blessings each day has to offer. There are so many, you just need to BE. 

Hope

Monarch butterflies are once again migrating.  They let me know......there is always hope. I've watched their population crash and recover many times.   I found out today, there is nothing that calms and centers me more then Nature.  I had a magical walk on our gorgeous Turtle Point Road and I spent some time in our yard watching all the goings on.  It was good to get outside.

Turtle Release.

I released 4 turtles today.  3 for another rehabber who put her blood sweat and tears into healing them for a year now. I loved seeing their joyous expressions on faces once they knew they were going free. What a privilege to be apart of something as wonderful as giving freedom back to a wild animal.  What made it even more special was sharing the moments with my oldest son who is visiting from the peace Corps. I'm the luckiest women in the entire world. Surrounded by more love then I could ever imagine and getting to be involved in a meaningful way with my beloved turtles and other wildlife. 

Love

This turtle made my day. 

Rebirth

My surgery is scheduled for July 5th.  Cancer has stripped away from me so much of what I thought was important. I see life so differently now. The only thing that is important is those you love, nothing else matters. We spend our entire lives worrying about useless stupid things.  I'm a completely different person now then before my diagnosis.  I'm sad about the surgery I'm going to have to go though, but I want to live.  I'm ready to start my life a new.  29 years ago, my first born sons due date was July 5th.  I think that's a good sign.  It's time to give birth to myself again.  The intense years of Mothering are over. 

June 10, 2016

I sat at the edge of the Longhouse Creek today and was surrounded by these beautiful damselflies. They are like little jewels.  One even landed on my arm. 

Be yourself

Step one is complete!  5 months of chemo done! CHECK!  My family were all there with me and then we went to lunch. Later hubby and I met our best friends up at the land to toast ground breaking day, and later we went to our sons house for dinner.  It was a wonderful day!  I have to say the single best thing I did to help me get though chemo, was to get outside in nature and to continue living my life passionately for wildlife.  Everyday that I got out,  filled me up to the brim and gave me the strength to get though each treatment.  Watching Spring unfold gave me something to look forward to.  Nature is always there for me.

Update on this very saying......a good friend of mine from college sent me the same exact magnet a week later!  What are the odds of that happening.  I found it doing a search trying to find something that spoke to me right now.  CRAZY!

Letchworth

We had a wonderful time up at Letchworth State Park staying in our tiny little cabin.  I love that place! We had great visits with lots of good friends, and even had family go with us this year.  Such a wonderful tradition.  I am going to call 2016 the year of the Chipmunks!  I have never seen so many in the thirty plus years we have been going to the park! There were dozens around our cabin. Everywhere you went in the park they were scurrying around or calling.  They had holes all over the place and were climbing trees.  It was incredible!  I didn't get to do much more then sit around, but it was beautiful just the same.  I never get tired of the beauty of the park.  A real temperate Rain forest, full of old growth trees and a healthy under-story of flowers.

Added to Bucket List:

HERPETOLOGY WORKSHOP

Location: New Jersey School of Conservation (NJSOC) in Stokes State Forest, Sussex County, New Jersey

Description: This course is designed to introduce college-level students to the reptiles and amphibians of the Northeast United States, the environments they inhabit, and the techniques that are used to conserve and study them in the field.  Most of the course will involve hands-on field activities that allow students to get "up close and personal" with the salamanders, frogs, toads, turtles, lizards, and snakes that call the Northeast home. A small number of classroom lectures and lab activities will also contribute to the student learning experience.

The course will include:
•       Discussions of reptile and amphibian natural history: their basic biology, life histories, and habitats
•       Discussions on the conservation and management of reptiles and amphibians
•       Reptile and amphibian identification and taxonomy
•       Identification of calling amphibians by ear
•       Habitat, plant, and non-herp animal identification
•       Reptile and amphibian sampling, trapping, and marking/tagging techniques
•       Radiotelemetry
•       Reptile and amphibian tissue sampling for DNA analysis
•       Collection of occupancy, relative abundance, mark-recapture, physical, environmental, and geographic data
•       Field note recordation and organization
•       Field photography
•       Day and night surveys for reptiles and amphibians
•       Hikes through several diverse northeastern habitats
•       Off-site field trips to natural areas that are different from those around the NJSOC
•       Participation in ongoing herpetological studies at the NJSOC and elsewhere

Cost: $750 for one week or $1000 for two weeks (fees cover food, lodging, and instruction)

Academic Credit: One to three (1-3) transferable, undergraduate credits are obtainable through Montclair State University for an additional fee.  Non-credit options are also available. To receive academic credit and financial aid, participants attend the course in June, then register for the course during the fall 2016 semester.

Qualifications: Participants should be in relatively good physical shape and capable of hiking several miles in a range of conditions through moderate-difficult terrain.  Above all, participants are expected to be capable of college-level work and possess a strong interest in field biology, ecology, or another closely-related discipline.  Class space is limited and participants will be accepted on a first come, first served basis providing they satisfy the above preconditions.

JUNE 2017 this class is a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to go to camp, and a camp only about Herpetology.....WOW! 

Perfect 10

I am so grateful to have an active dog that must go out for a run each day.  He has kept me in the moment and moving while I undergo treatment.  We only go to our land now as I'm too weak and really don't want to run into people.  It's been such a blessing to finally discover all that lives on that beautiful piece of property.  I really had no idea.  As with everyone else, my time has always been limited, and I like to run the dog in two different parks with nice loops.  I've been missing so much because there are far more nesting birds on our land then in the two parks put together!  Too many people and dogs in them.  It is so wonderful to spend so much quality time on that pristine little piece of heaven.  Today's great birds,  a pair of Scarlet Tanagers! Happy World Turtle Day to me~ 3 WTs too!  Only one is new, of cause another male. 

I did a birding loop, and watched close to two dozen Bobolinks on Lower Wisner Road and also saw a Brown Thrasher. 

YES I'm soooooo ready!

I saw this on FB today and boy did it hit home!  I've been sick for nearly a year....and I'm so F**king sick of being sick.  I want my body and life back.  My life is going to be SO DIFFERENT NOW when I'm recovered from BC.  I will never ever again take another moment of health or happiness for granted! I'm so ready to get back to MY active fun life!  

Chair bound

I'm at the point of treatment where it is an effort to even get out of my chair.  I am still able to do chores, although very slowly, some errands and take Monty for walks up at our land.  I am spending most of my time in my very comfortable lazyboy chair by the front living room window.  The greatest gift I gave myself during my illness,  was to have hubby move all my feeders upfront so I can watch the birds from sun-up to sundown.  They keep me engaged and in the moment. There is always something going on outside.  I put seed on the brick right up against the window, so the birds come nice and close.  Now that all our Summer birds have returned, it's been even more magical. Two days ago I had an Indigo Bunting visit upfront. Everyday, all day long,  I have 3 male Rose-breasted Grosbeaks and one female.  Two look to be last years young, as they are immature, they still have some brown feathers and more black speckling.   Both the adult male and female tolerate them, they all eat together, and there is no chasing.  Orioles and Wood Thrush as both singing constantly.  Such sweet music to my ears.  I have about a half dozen Ruby-throated Hummingbirds between the front and back nectar feeders. Such a joy to watch those beautiful tiny creatures.

Out and about magic continues. So many birds and so little energy. Everyday I go to the land and walk Monty and soak up all the songs and beauty.  Each day I am gifted with Warblers, Thrushes, Flickers, Swallows, Blue-birds, Sparrows, Orioles, our usual forest birds, ducks, Great-blue Herons and our nesting pair of Red-tailed hawks. There was a Vulture hanging around today, I'd be willing to bet there is a nest up on the side of the mountain.  Bonus's have been turtles(9) and snakes(2).  They are the icing on the cake. I'm grateful to have Turtle Point Road to walk while I'm so fatigued.  I miss the other parks for sure, but I will get up there after treatment is over and I have my energy level back.

Today  I went on my birding drive, notables were a Raccoon out and about, she looked pretty good so I'd assume it's a female out eating so she can nurse her babies. On State School Road there were two Killdeer running on the road, they must have young already hatched.  Such pretty birds. On the way home I was driving along Wisner Road and noticed a large dark shape up in a tree.  Upon closer inspection....it was a HUGE Tom Turkey!  Then I noticed a second one!  They both looked so silly roosting up at the top of small trees.  They had to weigh in at 25#s each.  I've seen those boys before and they are both very large.

The one thing I love best about nature and seasons, is how predictable they are.  Each year the very same birds and animals show up around the same time.  It really gives me something to look forward to.

Brand new eyes

I just love Spring.  It is still so amazing to me, that each year we get to watch the rebirth of nature all over again.  Watching it all unfold is a true gift to those of us who pay attention.  Every moment of each day there is something magical just waiting for you to set your eyes upon.  Give yourself a real present, get out there and ENJOY it all!  Step outside of your busy day, go outside, look, listen, smell, feel it all.  I promise you, it will make your day so much better. 

Today my joys included.  A beautiful N. Watersnake, Kingbird, Scarlet Tanager, Blue birds, Yellow Warblers, Orioles, and all the other beautiful birds I see on a daily basis.  I heard ovenbirds too!  I watched a Oriole strip bark off of a tree and weave it into its nest that it was building.  Everyday there is the opportunity to see something new.   The Red-tailed Hawks nest on our land, now has young in it! 

Wild animals

As I scroll though the pages of FB each day, there are so many posts and videos that make me really sad. There are hundreds of posts and videos circulating on FB of *cute* wild animals being kept indefinitely in captivity, interacting with people and pets that they never should be around, these images all make my heart sink.  Wild animals are never happy spending their lives in captivity. With the amount of information out there in cyberworld, I don't understand how people don't understand the difference between a wild animal and a domestic animal.  I don't think most of the posts are cute at all, when I see one I can only think of is how much happier the animal would be out in its natural home in nature, living wild and free and with it's own kind.  How come I see the world so differently then most people?  Maybe it's due to the fact that I spend a lot of time outside hiking and I am very lucky to live in a area that has so much wildlife that I often get to see. I also do a bit of Wildlife rehab, and have seen how happy an animal is when it's finally released and takes it's natural place back in nature.   I think as humans we are drawn to want to be around animals, maybe it's part of our dna. Too bad we can't all just be happy with having domestic pets and farm animals. When we know better.....we should all do better.

 I will keep teaching about co-existing with our wild neighbors, it's my passion. 

Kamana One

So today I finally pulled out the Kamana One Naturalist Class,  CD #1 and the workbook.  Why did I wait so long?   Maybe it was meant to be that I saved it until now, as I finish up Chemotherapy over the next 5 weeks, it will keep me super busy and engaged.   The course is so interesting and I'm already learning a lot after just listening to CD #1.  Such a different way to study nature. It engages every one of your senses, instead of just learning all you can about the nature in the area you live.  I started a handwritten journal as it suggested.  It's good to constantly notice what is going on right outside your window and write it down several times each day.  I have all the time in the world right now, so it's a perfect thing for me to be doing.  The class already has me living in the moment and noticing everything around me.  CD#1 tells you of the importance of the sit spot. It is considered to be the best learning tool of anything you can do to become more intimately connected with nature. I can't wait to continue tomorrow!   

Sweet baby

Broad-wings

This morning I got a text from a birding friend that the Broadies were flying! I immediately went outside and there they were! I watched over a 100 head Northward.  Loved seeing them kettle and soar.  Super excited to catch Spring birds!  I also had an immature eagle and a Coop.  Later on I went to the land and saw the Red-tailed Hawk who is nesting on land.  Other notables, were a Bluebird and Pileated WP.  I sat in the sun for a while and just enjoyed the beautiful weather and peace and quiet.  Monty had a ball playing in the river. 

Last night I went over to the lake and was able to see 6 N. Loons.  Dozens of Cormorants and an Osprey were also there.

Love

I never get tired of seeing these guys! Every single time I set my eyes on one, I'm completely transported back to being a kid again! It's always exciting. The chance of seeing one is what is what is getting me outside again every day!  This female is a beauty!  

Toads

I'm glad I was able to get outside and not miss the toads all out and courting. There were dozens up at the lake. Such a special time of year!  I love their song and seeing their cute little faces! 

Osprey

I've been out and about this week birding! I feel so incredibly blessed although undergoing treatment to feel well enough to resume some of my life.  Yesterday I had my FOS Warblers.  Palm and Pine.  There are lots of Waterthrush in all the parks.  Phoebes are nesting.  Today there was an Osprey at the pond up at Cascade Lake.  We have Red-tailed Hawks nesting at our new home site!  Wood Turtles out sunning, Painted Turtles, lots of Peepers singing.  Spring is here for sure!

Navagating life

It's been an incredibly tough couple of months, both physically and mentally.  There is no way you can know how bad a cancer diagnosis will feel, until you experience it. I've been there with my hubby and other loved ones and good friends, but I had no idea how hard this is to live with day in and day out  I think the mental part of dealing with a life threatening illness is far harder then being sick from the treatments. It keeps you up many nights worrying.  I'm still trying to find my way though all of this.  One foot in front of the other, one treatment at a time.  One thing that I've found, is that learning to live in the moment seems to be the best way to avoid living in so much mental pain.  Filling each day up to the brim doing things you adore, eating foods you love and seeing people who make you feel good makes all the difference in the world.  Even if you don't feel all that good, living while you are undergoing treatment is so important.  Do what you love everyday.   I'm lucky that I have so much support and love, to help me get though each and every day, but in the end, it is up to me to find my way and to make myself happy again.  I'm a work in progress.  My hubby is away on his annual motocross trip to GA, one which I made him go this year, he needs to live now too.  He is the one who holds me up every single day. He is my shoulder to cry on and I want him to stay healthy though all this stress.   I plan on starting my Naturalist Class tomorrow morning!  YES YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT......TOMORROW!  I am going to be a kid again on Summer vacation, spending every waking moment enjoying life and nature! 

Today, I took the boy up to the land.  We then did a bird drive.  I sat at the edge of a wetland and listened to Peepers, toads and also a Gray Tree frog!  I crossed a handsome little Painted Male and ran into a birding friend!  He was so happy to see me out and birding!  Yup....I need to do that every single day!

Toads

Yesterday I took Monty for a walk. There are birds singing everywhere! So wonderful to hear their sweet voices. I saw a FOS Veery. I also watched a adult Bald Eagle playing in the wind for 10 minutes. Incredibly beautiful. I drove past the Red-tailed Hawks nest twice and both times I was fortunate to see the pair trade off incubation duties. Last night The icing on the cake moment for me, was when I realized that there were American Toads singing from the edges of my pond. They serenaded me all night long. Such a beautiful comforting song. I woke up feeling blissful.

Butterfly

Today's a 10!

I started out this morning a bit depressed and decided instead of mulling in it, to get my exhausted butt outside. I went to the Co. Park only to find 7 cars. 3 up top in the parking lot,  and 2 at each trail head. I desperately needed some nature time and to get away from any cancer talk or thoughts. I know everyone who walks their dogs up in that park, so I left.  I proceeded to C. Lake.  I found that park to be nearly empty. One dog walker and a couple hiking. I had a glorious hike.  I saw Phoebes, Bluebirds, Red-shouldered Hawks, lots of Painted Turtles and the two RE Sliders survived the Winter. Spotted Salamanders laid eggs in some of the wetlands where I've not seen eggs before. Some eggs were even in a puddle.   On the way home I decided to stop at the land only intending on staying a short time. Immediately,  Monty found me a adult female W. Turtle!  I decided to look around for more. I was rewarded by finding another very large healthy female W. Turtle!  I was out for a total of 3 hours!  I feel really good.

Hail

Today is was around 50 degrees. I got the boy out. We went up to the Co. Park. He was so happy, and so was I. We both need our nature time. We checked the Vernal Pool and there weren't any more Spotted Salamander eggs yet. We went up 2 nights ago and there was one small mass and we only spotted 2 Salamanders. The wood frogs look like they are almost done. I heard FOS Phoebe and N. Waterthrush. I also cut my annual pussywillows. Later on at home we had thunder storms and HAIL! It was an awesome day. I also received 1000 paper cranes from a friend. They were made for her when she underwent a bilateral mastectomy. What a beautiful gift! 

Gaia principle

Gaia principle, proposes that organisms interact with their inorganic surroundings on Earth to form a synergistic self-regulating, complex system that helps to maintain and perpetuate the conditions for life on the planet. I believe in this principle. 

I was able to scrape up the energy to get out to the land again. Beautiful sunny day in the low 60s. Monty was so happy to play fetch in the creek. His life is back on track after the last two months of inactivity.  Later we took flash lights and headed up to the vernal pool.  We were only able to catch a glimpse of two Spotted Salamanders, we will try again Monday night in the rain. We hope to see the females head to the VP.   It was beautiful out, 50s, some stars and a beautiful smiling crescent moon.  It was really nice to be outside at night. 

Wood frogs & Spotted Salamanders!

I'm so proud of myself!  I got myself up and outside despite feeling like hell and having ZERO energy! A hike up in the Co. Park that usually takes me 45 minutes took, 1 hour and 10 minutes.  That is okay....I'm out there!   Last night it was very warm and it rained steadily for several hours, and not surprisingly the Vernal Pool was loaded with Spermatophores! The males were definitely out in good numbers.  Wood frogs were calling too!  The bigger pond had dozens of Spring Peepers calling as well. One foot in front of the other-I got this now!  I am going to breeze through the next 3 months of treatment! Nature is going to be my sidekick! Monty too! So happy to be able to hike. Getting out in nature I feel whole again. I am grateful. 

Spring Peepers!

It's official for me! Spring has sprung-the Peepers are singing!  I took Monty up to our property early this morning. It's his 6th Birthday and I've been neglecting him due to being too sick from treatment. I made myself put one foot in front of the other and just get out there!  We had fun. Fetch in the river for 30 minutes. Lots of birds singing. 3 Red-shouldered Hawks calling and circling for a long while. I could hear others as well. After we left I decided to do a birding loop down State School Road to Wickam Park. Lovely out to say the least 70 degrees. Notables were more then 30 painted turtles sunning on the bank of the farm pond. 3 killdeers and lots of Spring Peepers singing! I need to get myself out there everyday again. I gained far more peace of mind then the physical energy I lost. I NEED MY NATURE TIME.