Meditation Walk

I decided that today's hike would be a meditation walk. Mental therapy rather then physical. I posted this saying on my FB wall this morning: If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at Peace, you are living in the moment. by Lao Tzu. As I set out on my hike every time I would find my mind either going forward to the future or backwards to the past, I worked really hard to bring myself back to the glorious 55 degree day I had before me. It wasn't easy as I have a lot on my plate right now, but I managed to walk in complete awareness.  I completely enjoyed every moment of my time in the woods with my boy.  It was like a mini mental vacation, I'm feeling so peaceful right now. How different the world would be if we all lived in the now. How much less stress and sadness could we save ourselves from each day? I am going to print the Tzu saying and keep it close so I remember to live in today. 

Today's notable nature notes, first Phoebe singing!  Flickers.  Lots of wood frogs and Spring Peepers at the pond and vernal pools. Too little rain overnight to bring out the Salamanders.

Foster girl gets her dream human!

She is at her new home!  She hit the jack pot....a single police officer with no other pets.  I can sleep again at night.  I'm so happy for this beautiful girl who stole my heart in such a short time.  May she now live a long uneventful life full of love and fetch!  Oh and lots of good food, but not too much! LOL

Flying Squirrels

On our property we put up 2 wood duck boxes.   This winter Flying Squirrels have taken up residence in them, I don't have the heart to kick them out.  I haven't seen any wood ducks on the land for 2 years, so I guess the squatters can stay.  They are pretty cute.

Spring Peepers

Dozens of Painted turtles out on all the ponds. Spring Peepers at the Co. Park in 70 degree weather this evening. On the home front at least 5 woodcock peeting outside at dusk. Love this time of year! 

Great walk with my hubby and Montman what a way to end the day.  Grateful for this special dog who is so easy to love and live with. 

Trail Run

Today I did my first trail run in a really, really long time. I couldn't run fast, nor for very long, but I pushed myself, something I haven't done in years. Afterwords I found what I've been missing, its that high you get after a good work out. I loved being in the wood for 2 hours in 70 degree weather. I also did a bit of thinking about my new Spring resolution to stop all spending, I'm committed. I truly want to SIMPLIFY my life before another moment goes past. I'm looking forward to seeing just how little I can spend.  I'm also ready to get back to basics, see how much happiness I can bring to my life just being. 

On the nature front, lots of Blackbirds continue at my feeders. Still a few sparrows and Juncos. Up in the park I had a Mourning Cloak Butterfly and some Wood Frogs singing!

Yup....it's officially Spring here!

Later on took Monty for another walk up at the park where he met up with about 20 different dogs.  Glorious evening for all of us who made the effort to get our beloved canines out. 

Simplify

Tonight I spent some time online looking at Life is Good T-shirts. The simple images on the t-shirts remind me of the life I originally wanted for myself some thirty years ago. Hubby and I started out on a path in our marriage wanting a simple life full of time out in nature. We had plans to backpack and hike all over the country for vacations. Some how after we became parents we got off track and ended up in another world full of too much stuff. Our daily lives have gotten far too complicated. We are now on a path to get back to our original dream. Time is slipping away from us at a rapid rate and before we know it, we are going to be too old to live this old dream of ours. I'm on a quest to SIMPLIFY my life. I plan on cleaning out and down sizing everything I own. The only way to get back to basics is to clear the clutter. I'm done buying anything except essentials. I am personally on a spending freeze. Life is good, but soon it's going to be great!

Who's Bored?

I can't imagine ever being bored in this life. There is so much that I want to do right now that it's overwhelming to think about it. This coming weekend I have another Turtle Rehab intensive class. I feel as though I can't get enough information about Rehabbing wildlife. Their lives depend on me constantly learning. The busy season for us Rehabbers is about to begin. I will start to take at the very least one phone call a day. I've already had one about a disoriented raccoon.

In June I will be going back to the Arnot Forest for a weekend to take the remaining credits towards my Certified Master Naturalist designation. I will then need to contact our Town Supervisor to see about starting up the volunteer hours that I will need to become a Master Naturalist. I have a great plan on what I want to do, but will need his approval. My plan will last for the rest of my life if we stay in our area.

I have piles of books on Nature that I want to read and learn from. I never seem able to settle enough to do much reading. I am a certified Bookaholic. That is my one vice that I can't seem to break. If I see a good book online, I need to own it. Most nature books are an extension of my brain, there is just too much information that I will never retain, but I can always look up what I want to know.

I also have a dog that I would love to train to do all sorts of tricks. He is becoming my constant companion, and there is nothing in the world like a well trained dog by your side.

I also have a goal to start backpacking again with my hubby. I need to get myself in much better shape to be able to backpack at my age. I can't wait to get into the middle of the wilderness again, to escape all that's man made. To live simply for days at a time.

Now it's time to get off this computer and get to all of these goals!

Reality

Last night I found out that one of our good friends who was diagnosed with CLL 6 years ago, will now begin to do battle with it.  He has remained symptom free all this time. He is an inspiration to me on how best to live your life.  He is always happy and upbeat.  Always has a huge smile and something nice to say.   He is also living one of his life long dreams of playing live music!  He put together a band and they are out there playing at bars and winery's.  He is living his life to the fullest. The news of his illness surfacing has made me think about how important it is for all of us to live in the moment and fill those moments with as much good as you possibly can.  Don't wait to do the things you love, make time for them now. The now is all any of us has.

Some sad news, two of my parent's friends have died in the last couple of days. One was our childhood neighbor, Mrs. Miller. Our home backed up to hers.  I grew up playing with her two sons. She was one of my mom's best friends for her entire adult life. She was a wonderful lady, whom I really loved.  I have such fond memories of her and my parents having a great time together. She was always smiling and laughing and never had a bad thing to say about anyone.   I was on a hike when moms text arrived that she had passed. I sat down on a rock and cried.  Even though she was old, her death has me really looking at my life and how I'd like to spend what time I have left.   I'm not going to waste any time that's for sure, I plan to be in the moment, find enjoyment each day and the rest will take care of its self.

Gods Speed Mrs. Miller and Mr. Fitzgerald. I hope my dad was there when you arrived, he loved you both dearly.

On a Nature Note: Blackbirds continue at the feeders. Brown Creeper in the Co. Park. Today it was glorious out. The sky so blue and full of beautiful white cumulus clouds. Nothing like the companionship of a great dog to make all in the world seem right. Thankful for my Monty.

Nice hike with my men

The only snow we have had this winter. Today was a 40 degree day, so it does feel like the end of Feb.
Monty loving his run!
Beautiful hike with two of my men. We had a great time.
Happiness is: New Hiking Boots!!!

Black Birds

Red-Wing Blackbirds, Brown-headed Cowbirds and Grackles are here in huge numbers today. I've got plenty of corn, millet mix for them to fuel their migration. We finally had a little snow overnight, so wonderful to wake up to a white carpet this morning.

It's starting!

This morning I got out for a early hike before work with my Monty. We had a nice quick walk up in the fields of the park. It was already about 50 degrees out. Just amazingly warm temperatures for the end of February. On my drive to work I noticed large flocks of Canada Geese winging their way North. There were also several dozen Turkey and Black Vultures circling over 17a in Greenwood Lake. The movement is evident, Spring will soon be upon us once again.

I am not fit for foster dogs

Last night I turned my foster dog back into the rescue. Her issues were far too great for me to deal with at this point in time. I feel so guilty that she had to go back to the kennel until someone else can foster her. Funny how I wasn't feeling upset for myself living in my own personal prison while she was here.  The behaviorist who came along with the rescue vp, let us know that her issues were completely correctable. He said we needed to be stronger leaders, I know he was right.  I have always been a wimp of a dog trainer.  I've been lucky so far with all of my dogs that I bond deeply with them and have no issues.  If we had a fenced yard, I would have considered having her stay until adoption.  I couldn't chance that she got loose and went after the neighbors little dog.  I stood strong for the very first time in my life.  I said no, she needed to go back with them.  I'm still grieving the loss of my Petey, trying to bond and train Monty, I had no business saying yes to fostering her at this point in my life.  For once I said NO, and did what was right for me. I am sorry that we disrupted her life. The poor girl has had such a sad life so far. Because of her needs, it could be a long while before she is adopted. I can't put my life on hold for that long, and spend all my energy trying to help her, I have to help me right now. I've been putting my dogs first for far too long, and emotionally I'm a mess. I did the same thing with my kids. I have a few trips planned for this year, trips that were on hold during Petey's illness. I need to be able to leave home with less stress, my time here on earth is getting shorter and I'm really feeling that midlife crisis.  

I took Monty out for a walk this morning before work, what a gorgeous day it's going to be. I will look for the small blessing each day again. The biggest one today so far is that I have the curtains on the back of the house all open again. They have been closed for many weeks now. I have ALL my bird feeders full. The foster had a high prey drive and would go ballistic every time she saw a squirrel outside. For the average person this wouldn't be a problem, but for me who rehabs them, it's been a nightmare and I haven't even taken in any spring babies yet. I'm loving watching the birds and squirrels again. I miss her deeply as I got far too attached in a short time. Every time I think of her I tear up. If my life was at a different point we would have adopted her. She is super cute and sweet. I hope and pray she finds the right person to love and care for her forever, she deserves that.

Harbinger of Spring!

I'm participating in the annual Great American Backyard bird count as I have since it's very first year. While I haven't had great numbers of birds due to the mild winter we are experiencing, I can always count on decent variety. I had Grackles, then Cowbirds and now today....Red-Wing Blackbirds, our harbinger of Spring on the East Coast! Spring is almost here again, with all its glory. I love this time of year best as the earth after a long rest comes alive again. There are already chipmunks up and running around the yard, and I eagerly anticipate seeing all the reptiles and amphibians who have been hibernating since the Fall. It won't be long before the song of Spring Peepers fill the air, and I have to take in my bird feeders because the bears will be up and hungry. Life begins again.

Florida trip 2/9-14th

Hubby and I had a great trip to Florida. We made the usual rounds. Cork Screw Sanctuary,Lovers Key State Park, Manatee Park, Ding Darling National Wildlife Refuge and Port Charlotte Wildlife Rehab Center. Lots of wonderful animals and birds. Moms place is so awesome, there is nothing like backing up to the mangroves right on the water to bring in amazing numbers of birds. Also had lots of nice visits with loved ones. Perfect way to spend a long weekend.

Amazing weather today for the very last day of January. I stopped by the swamp by the railroad tracks on Lower Wisner Road, there are a pair of Red-Tails on the nest. 3 pairs of Pin-tail ducks, a king fisher and lots of mallards. I'm heading out for a nice hike with the dogs.

Foster girl

I've been fostering a sweet 3 year old dobergirl for the last 11 days. A friend who is very involved with a rescue out of PA asked me if we could take her until she finds her forever home. Having her to take care of hasn't left any time for doing any writing or much nature time. I have been taking her out and hiking most days, but she must be on the leash as she has a really high prey drive. She has settled into our family really well and Monty is enjoying having a friend to play with. I do know after the last week and a half that at this point in life I only want to have one dog, unless I'm fostering, which we will do again. Once my wildlife rehabbing picks up again in the spring it will be too much for me to have a high prey dog in the house while there are so many babies to care for. I hope she gets a good home, as we are already so attached to her, she is a very cute smart girl. I don't understand how so many have given up on her.

This has been a very warm Winter, we have had snow one time since that crazy storm in October. There has been a lot of rain. Not to many birds at the feeders. Two weeks from today I will be in Florida, I'm looking forward to birding there.

A fit women is a powerful women!

My Gym and Training Partner Monty!


Early this morning as I was out in the park in a show squall, I thought to myself, I almost feel guilty being able to be out here in nature getting a good fast hike/run in, while others are on their machines doing their time. I can't imagine ever going to a gym, no wonder so many people hate to work out. For me getting outside there are so many opportunities to see so much more then the 4 walls of a gym and a bunch of people you don't know. Nature has gifts just waiting for your eyes to see them. Just the change of the weather is stimulating, and also changes the intensity of your hike/walk or run. This morning the ground was soft and slippery again after a day of rain, that alone helps build leg muscles. Two days ago it was frozen. Mother nature provides so much entertainment as you do your miles, there is never a dull time out there with nothing to see, the clouds alone today took my breath away. I'm so happy that I have discovered for myself how to have a lasting commitment to a lifetime of fitness. It's hiking for me and I'm blessed.

I also did some thinking this morning about my Petey. He has been gone 5 months tomorrow. I had a dream about him the other night where I really felt like he was with me. In the dream he had died suddenly, just like in real life, but some how he came back alive, but he wasn't well. He couldn't walk far with out falling over. He was leaning on me. He wasn't in pain or suffering, and it was such a amazing feeling to be holding his big brown body again, to have him lick my tears. He was very happy to see me. But his condition wasn't good, my big strong man was no longer the dog he was meant to be. It was as if in this dream Petey gave me a message and let me know that when he died it was his time. That no matter what I did medically, the outcome would not have been good for HIM. CHF would have been tragic for him. He went out of this life when and how he was suppose too. He didn't want to become any less of himself. That is how I now think about my dads sudden death too. For me my dad never got old. He went out before losing his manhood, which was everything to him. I know now that Petey did the same thing. They both were such proud dominate beings, that their lives had to end that way for them to keep their dignity.It's hard on us, but easy on them. Their deaths weren't about me, they were about them, and what was best for THEM. Petey and my dad didn't suffer at the end of their lives. They lived fully and gave all that they had to us. It was their time to go. We all will have a time to go, we don't get to choose it, those of us left behind have to learn how to deal and move on. That is what my dad and Petey would want for me. I had trouble figuring this out for the last 7 years since dads passing. I got it!

Yesterday would have been Petey's 5 year gotcha day. I am still trying to make sense of why he came to me, as nothing is an accident in this life. I think Petey came to protect me,to take over for my dad, because I was weak after so many deaths and so much hurt. He took his job very seriously from minute one, he made me feel safe and secure, he took away my fear of living. He left when he knew I was going to be ok, that I'm going to be able to get back in this game of life and become the strong women I was before my dad passed away. I let myself go after his death. I gained weight and lost my fitness level. I ate out of grief, and caused myself more pain, as for years I've suffered the symptoms of eating foods that I can't tolerate. A horrible self defeating punishment instead of facing the pain of life. I'm done with all that,I'm facing life. I now have a dog who needs me to show him that a I'm confident leader. Monty came to me so I can pull myself back up again and BE ALL THAT I CAN BE. I'm two weeks into not using food to console myself, and I feel incredibly fabulous. NO grain, dairy or sugar. I have also cut my alcohol down too! I've set myself up for some future goals, I want to backpack again. I know that this would be a dream come true for both hubby and myself to spend long weekends out in nature. I am so looking forward to getting myself fit enough to get back to my life out in nature! One day at a time....just get out there and DO IT! Put those shoes on and show up!

Monty 22 monhts old

“If you care about something you have to protect it – If you’re lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.” ~ John Irving












Today is Monty's 22nd month old birthday. I decided that the best way to celebrate was to take a long hike with him. It was over cast and in the high 30s, no wind and very comfortable weather to hike. Not too many birds around, mostly junos, chickadee and I heard a Pileated woodpecker calling.

It was good to have so much quality time to think. I've had so much company since the week before Thanksgiving that there has been little time for long hikes. I can't remember the last time I hiked for 2.5 hours. I decided during my hike that I need more quiet in my life. I am back to turning the TV during the day when I'm home and despite watching nature shows, they are depressing me. All of them talk about how bad things are on this planet, how everything is on the verge of extinction. A decade ago I gave up reading the news paper and watching the news, because I was internalizing all the pain and hurt that people were going through. Now the same thing is happening to me with animals and nature, I feel so hopeless thinking about what is going on, and how bad things really are. My heart is too big, I feel pain too deeply. I can only do what I CAN DO. I can't save the world, but I can write letters to the editor, donate to organizations that I believe in, walk my talk and continue to help my local wildlife in need with my Rehab work. Tonight I took in a sharp-shinned hawk, he had a collision with a car, hopefully he makes it though the night. He is resting comfortably in a dog crate, in our back bedroom.

I came to the conclusion that my bucket list for the year is a bit overwhelming. It has my head spinning. I am not going to pursue the Master Naturalist right now, nor do a volunteer project this Winter. I realize now that I need to tackle one thing at a time, right now it's going to be my eating and fitness. Until I get that under control nothing else is going to be easy for me. The first 10 days of this year have been effortless. I feel great, not hungry and not craving. Next I will work on Simplifying again, it's time to purge the mess and stop buying anything new except food, vitamins and personal beauty items. I have a closet full of clothing that I can't wear because of the excess weight. I could have a whole new wardrobe in another month if I keep eating right. It feels good to let go of everything else until I'm good and ready to tackle it. One day at a time, eat right, exercise and sleep good.

Wolf Moon

Our mild Winter continues. I've been really enjoying getting out every day since the New Year has begun. Tonight is the Full Wolf Moon. On the drive home from our dusk hike around the fields the moon was coming up in front of the road as we drove, it looked so huge and amazing. Took my breath away. I wish that I could have taken a picture of it, I would have had to stop traffic to get a shot. I did get this picture at 8:50pm in our backyard.

There have been very few feeder birds, I'm saving a ton on birdseed. I think the milder weather has them foraging out in the wild and not having to depend on the seed. Some days there have even been insects out. Lots of squirrels though!

Getting out there

Hubby and I are committed to getting back in shape this year. We have been out there hiking the last 3 days. He is kicking my butt making me hike hills at a fast pace. I feel really good today. Began weights and stretching too. I will be working out in some way every day. Eating healthy too.

2012

Wonderful New Years celebration with our best friends and youngest son. All my boys called at midnight, I feel so blessed. I am the luckiest mom in the world to have the most wonderful sons in the world. We had our annual Fondue party. Cheese Fondue with bread and crudites for appetizers, Seafood Fondue for Dinner with Lobster tails, shrimp, clams, scallops and squid and then Chocolate Fondue with fruit and pound cake for dessert. I burned my candles until they all went out on their own. I also burned a bayberry wax candle to remember my daddy. He always bought one at Christmas time, I continue that tradition.

Today I watched *I AM* a documentary made by Tom Shadyac who directed the Nutty Professor and many other great funny movies. I think this is a must see by every human in the universe! Today is the perfect day for all of us to reflect on the past and start the NEW YEAR with great intentions to change. I want to watch this film a second time. What a powerful uplifting message this movie has given me. I feel empowered. I AM.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE!